The Quick Guide to Creating a Unique Unity Ceremony

I love unity pieces in wedding ceremonies. Symbolizing our lives is a great way to think about where we are now, where we will go in the future, and who we might become. Though, I don’t like unity pieces just for the sake of them.

If you’re working with me and pitch me a unity piece that really doesn’t fit with anything we’ve talked about, I’m going to tell you honestly. For example, if you don’t like going to the beach, why on earth would we add a sand pouring unity to your ceremony? You should not include any unity element solely to kill time. There are plenty of ways to make your wedding ceremony unique without creating some cheesy metaphor to signify your love.

So, how do you go about developing a unity ceremony that truly belongs to you?

Here are the 5 elements I consider when brainstorming unity pieces with couples.

Photo Credit: Rubinski Works

1. What do you both love equally?

Do you cook dinner together? Do you want to travel the world together? Do you love lifting weights? Do you celebrate holidays like nobody’s business? Make a list of activities, hobbies, or locations that truly mean something to you. For example, if you like drinking mimosas, but mimosas don’t symbolize the two of you, don’t write it down. If your friends would be confused why you’re drinking mimosas in your ceremony, it shouldn’t be there in the first place.

2. What actions could the unity ceremony consist of?

A unity ceremony is meant to symbolize the combining of two souls. It doesn’t necessarily mean that those two souls have to become one, but there does need to be some action each person can partake in. For example, if you and your partner fish every weekend, what activities could you do to symbolize that? You could combine fishing materials into a box. Or you could sign your names onto a fishing rod. These are terrible examples, but hopefully this is simple enough to get you thinking.

3. Will this be something you want to keep?

Don’t do a unity ceremony just to live up to the customs of a unity ceremony. If you’re not really interested in keeping that vase of sand after, then don’t do a sand unity! Maybe a unity ceremony really isn’t the thing for you. Maybe you’re a minimalist. Maybe you just aren’t symbolic people. You don’t need a unity ceremony to make a wedding ceremony. You just need the two of you. And if you’re totally down for a unity ceremony, think of items you would love to have after your wedding day.

4. Do you want to include anyone in the unity?

If you have children, this is a great way to blend them into your ceremony easily. Or maybe you really want to include your parents. If you’d like to include anyone else in addition to the two of you, you’ll want to brainstorm additional elements that can create an action in the unity ceremony.

5. How much time do you have to devote to a unity piece?

A unity piece always includes a physical element. If you’re cramming for time, throwing together a unity piece isn’t a good idea. If you’ve got time to shop around or DIY your own symbolic element, then heck, go for it!

A sun icon
Summer wedding with a first look
Ideally, it’s nice for golden hour photos to take place when there is a suitable break in the timeline so that it doesn’t interrupt speeches or dances. So we recommend that if the sun sets earlier in the day, plan to take golden hour photos after the ceremony. If the sunset isn’t until later, you can plan on doing it after speeches and the first dances.

Below is an example timeline of an ideal wedding plan:
11:30 AM - Photographer Arrives (Getting ready, dress, detail photos)
12:30 PM – Bride puts on dress and bride individual photos
12:45 PM – Groom heads to first look location
1:00 PM – First look, letter reading, couple photos
2:00 PM – Bridal party photos
2:45 PM – Family Photos
3:30 PM – Family Photos done
4:00 PM – Hide away for Ceremony (eat something, drink water, have time alone together)
4:30 PM – Ceremony Starts
5:00 PM – Ceremony ends – cocktail hour begins
6:00 PM – Grand entrance with bridal party
6:15 PM – Dinner starts
6:30 PM – Speeches
7:00 PM – Cake cutting and dessert served
7:30 PM – Start Dances (couple’s first dance, father daughter, mother son, then open dance)
8:30 PM – Sneak away for golden hour photos
8:45 PM – Sunset time
9:00 PM – Return to dance floor
10:30 PM – Sparkler Send Off
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Winter wedding without a first look
If you are getting married in the winter and choosing to do your first look as you walk down the aisle, you will want to have your ceremony earlier in the day. This will ensure you have enough time to get your bridal party, family group shots, and couple portraits before you run out of daylight. Doing a first look down the aisle means you will need to consider hosting a cocktail hour for your guests while doing those portraits. We recommend around 2 hours.

Here is an example timeline for a wedding in the winter where the sun sets at 4:00 pm, and the couple wants to do their first look down the aisle.
11:00 AM – Getting ready portraits
12:00 PM – Groom and groomsmen group and individual photos
12:30 PM – Bride and bridesmaid group and individual photos
1:00 PM – hide before ceremony starts
1:30 PM – Ceremony begins
2:30 PM – Ceremony ends, guests head to cocktail hour
2:30 PM – Family group portraits
3:00 PM – Bridal party group photos
3:30 PM – Couple portraits heading into sunset
4:00 PM Sunset time, head to reception
4:30 PM – Cocktail hour ends, guests get seasted
4:45 PM – Grand March
5:00 PM – Dinner served
5:30 PM – Speeches
6:00 PM – Cake Cutting
6:30 PM – First dances
7:00 PM – Photography coverage done

The Bottom Line

Hopefully, this gets your mind thinking about unity pieces. As with everything else in the ceremony, the most important part is that you two are present and engaged. You don’t need this to make your marriage, so, if you’re going to add a unity piece, ensure that it completely represents the both of you!

Have your unity piece ready and need some help with other elements of your ceremony?

Check out our post here for some really useful tips for writing your wedding vows.

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